august 1, 2008
if you think i'm going to write personal email responses to all those no colony offers, you can forget it. blake butler owns my heart and my condoms.

july 30, 2008
if someone buys me a copy of no colony, i will send them this box of 240 (completely unusable for actual sex) condoms! perfect for putting on your feet like socks or something! for two copies of no colony, i will unwrap each condom and put peanut butter in it and send them to you that way. for three copies of no colony, i can do raspberry jelly instead of peanut butter. sexy? please i’m poor and i like reading

july 26, 2008
to the easily convinced: purchase your copies of see you next tuesday: the second coming. it is more than available. i am in it and kevin sampsell and blake butler are in it and they are my friends and matt furie did the cover for it and he is a babe.

july 2, 2008
the cheese melted then burned.
wait, that isn't significant.

june 30, 2008
come sleep on my couch, azshoels.
i'm inviting you.

june 24, 2008
these webstats are making me feel bored.

may 20, 2008
well, theres an indifferent little review about dream date on KQED's website. i didn't really know i was that weird.

april 30, 2008
dream date is in diet soap #2. dream date is overextending itself. this is the official end of dream date's world tour. good job, dream date.

april 29, 2008
my friend william schultz made a website. i'm extremely and sincerely proud of him.

april 21, 2008
i've been given oulipean affirmation kinda and italo calvino asked me out on a date. should i wear something?

april 15, 2008
kevin sampsell is jesus to me. i fucking love him and he fuckin loves me. why don't you go cry about it.
come to my reading or i'll swear in front of your mother.

april 12, 2008
come to my reading this wednesday. i'll deeply move you. details here .
also i havesomething at zygote

april 4, 2008
new drawings : )

march 25, 2008
blake butler is my hero because he seems to like me and thinks i should not die.
I am definitely going to start using him as my emergency contact. he's homeless, though.

march 23, 2008
my story mcdonald's is impossible is in no posit vol 1. other things are good besides just me on there, you know, too. huh?

march 17, 2008
this is stupid i love you

march 15, 2008
there are new interviews up in the personal questions section of this website. 'up' as in 'posted,' not like 'erect.' not everything is a sexual innuendo, you know.

march 3, 2008
dream date is on pequin and nothing else in the world has changed today.

february 19, 2008
take me to the future!

february 11, 2008
beeswax #4 is finally a part of the physical world. oh plus, oh baby, lamination colony have my baby call me mommy etc

january 29, 2008
brandon scott gorrell is the new best sliced thing since bread. his blog will crack your life open like a coconut and then you will eat what's inside and start over. i've already done it four times.

december 5, 2007
i just inherited 50,000 condoms. when i first found out, i for some reason heard '50,000 condiments' and made this comment about a potential hot dog party which turned into kind of an awkward situation.

november 26, 2007
buy my chapbooks.

november 12, 2007
yeah, dream date is out on chapbook, but if you're not one of my favorite 10 people, you can dream on. unless i fall in love with you. which i probably will.

november 4, 2007
i'll be reading for hear/say on thursday, nov 15 in macky hall (CCA oakland) at 7pm. i'll be reading from a series of mine called dream date, which means things will be getting pretty sexy. bring your hot single selves.

october 26, 2007
33% of all the email angelbaby received today is hate mail. now i'm so sad and can't stop crying and everything. i wish i wasn't such an "ass hol."

october 21, 2007
it's time to preorder beeswax #4. you're lucky i'm here doing all the thinking for you, dummy.

october 15, 2007
speaking of i $ you, too bad you didn't get a free zine while you could. now you can buy one at modern times books, dog-eared books and needles and pens in san francisco, as well as oakland's own issues if you're gangsta. get this shit while it still stinks.

september 18, 2007
i $ you is in zine form and free at the north/south gallery. get that < 300 limited edition copy worth abuncha money. act now or you may end up with one that has a less-than-admirable staple job. act before now, which was last night, and you can help me put them together, which is a good way to get on my good side.

september 17, 2007
mike topp is the only person aside from me who makes sense. he gave me a free copy of a book i already bought and thought was ok.

spetember 10, 2007
the inappropriate is being published in the next issue of oakland's no-nonsense, mind-your-stews-and-queues lit mag beeswax. geez, what an honor. buy many copies at many local book stores.

august 25, 2007
i had such an awesome partay night last night. me and william and job drank a little of the lot and paid a cover charge somewhere and talked to each other all night. then we came home and they said i could play whatever television show i wanted. NOT!

august 3, 2007
i ate some fancy chocolate yesterday, to induce lucid dreaming, but the only thing that happened was i had a bunch of dreams that my high school friends were making out with my college friends. and in my dreams i kept exclaiming things like "oh brother!" and i woke up feeling really bored.

july 16, 2007
congratulations! today is the one year anniversary of my graduation from those awkward teen years!

june 23, 2007
haha! email my secretary angelbaby_2002, she gets paid to read whatever you send her! haha! what a slut!

june 22, 2007
fact: the average genius browses jerkethics.com ten times every year, in his sleep, and never even realizes it.

may 18, 2007
lindsay lohan themed partay tonight, my house, shannon & clams to cover 'that girl' no sneak previews sorry

april 21, 2007
(update) actually i think you guys are just okay. like i would hang out with you and give you some pastries if i had any, but i wouldn't adopt your kids if you died. let's keep this an impersonal, business-like relationship, ok? i don't want to be tricked into any bff bullcrap.

march 25, 2007
thankyou melissa, max, ian, dylan & william.
i like you guys a lot.

march 1, 2007
i'll be doing a reading tonight at my apartment at 1am. just kidding i'll probably be drunk. just kidding i don't feel like drinking tonight. so i'll be reading, feel free to come over. i have a summer sausage that i'm going to cut up and put on the dining table. for everyone. if you're interested.

february 14, 2007
lula preusser is a sister of mine as of last week. i wish i had something valuable to give her, like a gift horse or an oracle.

january 30, 2007
if you're stalking me, you're doing a pretty good job, cos i can't even tell.

january 9, 2007
i'd like to give a shout out to lauren cohen, who made me realize that i can just eat apples instead of brushing my teeth.